Thursday, July 12, 2007

Bookdave Reviews Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Hello, my name is Bookdave, and I’m Booksteve’s son and the guest reviewer today. Y’see, Dad and me and mom went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix today. At the theater, I found a fun game! There was a mat on the ground that had images projected on it and it reacted to your stomps. There was one game where evil monkeys were attacking a princess-cat, and you had to stomp on them. Another game was a trivia quiz where you stomp on the answers; Dad was doing great until a little kid came up and constantly pressed "C". ( I told her she had the wrong answer and that it was Jim Morrison who was known as the Lizard King. She said she didn’t care and was just having fun. @##!&!! three year olds! Sheesh!-Booksteve)
Stop interrupting, Dad! Anyway, the movie started out pretty simple: Dudley was teasing Harry at a park. Then, a pair of dementors attacked. Harry saved the day, but then got in trouble (he not only performed magic out of school, he did it in front of a muggle!). He then met a heroic, secret, anti-Voldemort group of wizards called the Order of the Phoenix, whose ranks include his friends and Dumbledore. They took him to the wizarding world, where Harry discovered that Mr. Fudge (the current Minister of Magic) refuses to believe that Voldemort is back and thinks Dumbledore’s after his job. The Daily Prophet even called Harry a liar! After a court scene where Harry won, Harry had a nightmare about Voldemort and finally got to Hogwarts. There, he learned that Dolores Umbridge, a woman from the ministry, was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. She also seemed WAY too perky. Unfortunately, she refused to let them practice any spells. Harry screams that mere paper-pen work won’t prepare them for Voldemort, which lands him in Umbridge’s office. It’s pink and filled with living paintings of cats. She tells him to write, "I must not tell lies" on a piece of paper. But (Warning! Scary part!) anything he wrote with that quill was written in scars on his hand. Meanwhile, Umbridge has taken over Hogwarts, forming an evil dictatorship, making crazy rules, and even trying to fire Trelawny! Luckily, according to Dumbledore, "You can dismiss my teachers, but you have no right to force them to leave the grounds." This gets Umbridge a new goal: become headmaster! Meanwhile, Harry has created a team of kids that want to get GOOD Defense against the Dark Arts teaching. They do it in a room called the Room of Requirement that always fits your purpose. Harry teaches everyone spells like Stupefy and Expecto Petronum! What do they call themselves? Dumbledore’s Army! However, Umbridge, while creating millions of new rules like "Students may not be within 18 inches of each other", hired a bunch of Slytherins to hunt them down. That got Dumbledore in trouble (They ARE called DUMBLEDORE’S army after all). He claimed to be behind the group, but escaped the Ministry. This puts Umbridge in charge.
That gives you a good idea of the movie. However, there was something I experienced that you couldn’t. Y’see, the film was supposed to be in 3D at the end. Unfortunately, it broke abruptly while playing. Cries of "Hey! You up there! Fix it!" and "Projectionist’s a Death Eater!" (That one was Mom’s) rose up. We had nice little chats with the other moviegoers before it came back 25 minutes later (with what appeared to be about 5-10 minutes of the picture lost-BS). It came back in double-image-vision. Rather than turn it off and fix it again, the movie went on as planned except that it was 2D as they just decided to cut off one projector completely!
Overall, it was pretty good. I loved the fireworks and Luna Lovegood (She seems like she was born tranquilized and believes in things called "Nargles"). It would be better with the ump-hundred deleted scenes. It was good anyway. Well, the parts I saw anyway. I guess I couldn’t really give a good review with the whole broken-film thing. Overall, I can give it a 7; it would be an 8 without the nightmare-inducing quill. Just cover your eyes when Harry gets to Umbridge’s office (OF DOOM!).

1 comment: