But I Don't Want to Get Married!

I sat and watched this TV movie when I was 11 in October of 1970 and I seem to recall enjoying it. Looking at it now is a whole 'nother thing. Ostensibly a comedy, it isn't really very funny and, in fact, the title doesn't even really apply as no one seems to be actually trying to marry our hero off except possibly his late wife's sister.  The film's sitcom premise is that Herschel Bernardi's wife has died 18 months earlier, leaving him with two boys. For no apparent reason, he suddenly becomes a chick magnet. Old pros Aaron Spelling and Jerry paris are the ones responsible, Paris being also the writer. As one of the folks behind THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW and a dozen other comedy classics, Paris--who also acts here--should have known better.

The premise is, of course, very similar to that of THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER which had premiered the year before on TV. As if there was a need to drive this home, Brandon Cruz, who played Eddie, is also one of Bernardi's kids here. His other son is Teddy Eccles, a prolific child actor of the period who now produces cooking shows.

If it plays like a pilot, it didn't need to as Bernardi--a brilliant stage actor and a TV veteran who's just amazingly bland throughout most of this film--already had a sitcom going that year called ARNIE. The joy of this movie is the fact that literally almost every role is played by a recognizable actor!

Kathleen Freeman and Florence Halop are the nosy neighbors for instance.

Shirley Jones is radiant in full Mrs. Partridge mode--her series had premiered a month before--as a divorced woman in the same building who hits on our hero.

Kay Medford is the sister-in-law.

Here's Jerry paris as the best friend, used mainly for exposition.

Nanette Fabray is a surprisingly horny blind date.

Harry Morgan runs a call girl agency where Bernardi thinks he's hiring a maid. Penny Marshall is one of Harry's girls.

And Joyce Van Patten is the call girl who shows up!

Character actor Peter Hobbs is the boss, whose secretary...

Sue Lyon, quite literally throws herself at our protagonist and tricks him into accompanying him to a low-budget stage version of Cyrano de Bergerac.

In the play, Cyrano is played by Aaron Spelling's brother whilst Roxanne is played by an unbilled Cissy Colpitts (later Cisse Cameron) in what was most likely her first film, coming a year before her memorable appearance in BILLY JACK. She has no lines but looks lovely and has some funny physical bits. Eight years later, I would write her for an autograph and she would send me several signed photos.

That's Herschel Bernardi's brother Jack as Kathleen Freeman's husband.

Shirley looking the way her recent autobiography made her sound!

Tina Louise in a throwaway cameo as the son's prim, proper teacher who lets her hair down leading into a commercial.

And then we quite randomly meet June Lockhart at a PTA meeting in the last few minutes of the film. There has been no plot, just a series of situations. 

And the narrator refers to the happy ending here as they discuss her having two girls to his two boys and the concept of a BRADY BUNCH style sequel seems likely.

Seriously, it's much fun to see all these folks in their prime but there's NO substance at all to BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!

 

Cisse and Ted

Actress/cult figure Cisse Cameron (AKA Cissy Colpitts) brings a lot of hits to this blog. Here's a brief plug for 1978's short-lived THE TED KNIGHT SHOW featuring the former MTM funnyman with Cissy in her Marilyn-esque role as Graziella. This particular image was sent awhile back by a reader of this blog. Thanks!

More Cissy

I notice a lot of folks have been dropping by the Library lately looking for Cissy Colpitts (AKA Cisse Cameron) so thought I'd share a couple more shots of her from our archives, these provided by a generous reader awhile back. If you don't know who she is, here's here resume at IMDB: Cisse Cameron

Cissy Colpitts

Having minor issues with my scanner (as well as various other technological items. Hmmm...wonder if this is all rellated) so today, we venture back into the "already in the computer" archives for a couple of nice shots of actress Cissy Colpitts sent to me some time ago by a fellow fan. Cissy's name comes up daily in the referrals to this site, usually more than once! I hope the dear girl--long since renamed Cisse Cameron--realizes just what a fan base she has here on the Net. These pics seem to date from the early 1970's.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Well, with my schedule being what it is lately, I missed my own anniversary!!! Yesterday marked two years of BOOKSTEVE’S LIBRARY! More than 86,000 hits on nearly 1000 entries. Every continent except Antarctica has visited my blog. Along the way we’ve written about silly comic books, forgotten films, conventions, music, and, of course, books. We’ve practically become the one-stop for folks searching for info on Christa Helm, Cissy Colpitts or (and I still find this strange) Linda Blair nude! And to that one guy (and I assume its just one guy) who keeps finding us by typing in "Jonathan Frid gay?," let me repeat that I have no earthly idea! All I know is he scared the bejeebers out of me on DARK SHADOWS when I was 9 and I find myself laughing at those same performances today.
Special thanks as ever to those new friends and acquaintances made through this blog. From folks whose work I was reading thirty years ago to my sometimes anonymous regular readers, you’re all wonderful and I’m proud to have you drop by on a regular basis! Thanks! Special thanks to JBX who apparently remembered my anniversary and dropped a goodly amount in the ol’ PayPal tip box!
Today starts year three then. Hopefully things will settle down enough soon here that I can return to more substantial postings but in the meantime, I hope you’re enjoying our almost daily offerings of lighter comics and movie fare. I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface here at the Library, folks so stick around. The best, as they say…well…aw, you know!

Cissy in 1967

Despite the recent revelation of my own personal lack of mammary fixation, the Library received the following 1967 clipping in an email from a kind and generous correspondent the other day. As long-time readers will recall, a favorite starlet of mine (and apparently many other folks) has long been actress Cisse Cameron, formerly known as Cissy Colpitts (seen in BILLY JACK, PORKYS II,etc). Here we have Ms. Colpitts as Miss Watermelon Bust 1967 along with a relatively recent convention photo found on the Net of Ms. Cameron with longtime husband, Reb Brown (TV's CAPTAIN AMERICA). Not too shabby considering it's been nearly four decades!

Number 500!!!!

They say the first 500 are the hardest! This is my 500th post since throwing open the virtual doors of the Library back in August of 2005. During that time I’ve pulled books off the shelf and clippings and ads out of files and boxes and found that every one of them has a story. I’ve begun to feel like Rod Serling on NIGHT GALLERY!
Among the most popular subjects covered in those first 500 posts are:
Kings Island
Linda Blair
Cissy Colpitts
LET’S GO FOR BROKE
Christa Helm
Underground Comics
Batman
Michael Netzer
photomanipulated vampire girls
National Lampoon
Beatles
Wally Wood
Jim Steranko
Jim Shooter
Pussycat
Hayley Mills
Vampirella
Unsold TV Pilots
Dark Shadows
It’s all downhill from here to the big one year virtual anniversary party next month and you are ALL invited! Of course, if I’m still without a paying job you guys will have to bring your own snacks and stuff but I’ll provide the entertainment! Thanks to everyone for your continued support and encouragement! The doors are always open so drop by anytime and bring your friends. It's all POP in here!

300 and Counting

Wow! Seems like only yesterday but that last one was my 300th post! In spite of scanner limitations, computer glitches and unpaid broadband bills, we’ve been here nearly every day since last August. My virtual library has become a place of fun and remembrance and, after several years of depression, has given me reason to unbox the joys of my past and share them with you. And you seem to like them! That’s the best part! So let’s get started right away on the next 300. I’ve got a lot more stuff and it all has a story attached to it!
Here’s a couple of odds and ends starting with my last pic of Cissy Colpitts (AKA Cisse Cameron) that I have. It’s not much, actually, as it’s obviously a shot of Ted Knight from his flop, THE TED KNIGHT SHOW which is where I first found Cissy to be funny and sexy. For the completists among us, though, here it is. Her character’s name was Graziella.
Next is a cool shot of two of the most imaginative people who ever lived--comic book artist Jack Kirby and Looney Tunes legend Bob Clampett. I’m not sure now where I got this clipping (CBG?) but it looks as though Clampett was being inducted into the Science-Fiction, Horror and Fantasy Hall of Fame. Based on Bob’s wig, I’d say this dates from the mid-seventies.
Here’s a few recent links to particularly enjoyable and nifty sites:
http://mahtwocents.blogharbor.com/blog
http://www.toddfrye.com/
http://www.larrysmithpuppets.com/
http://www.rogerowengreen.blogspot.com/
http://www.bookgasm.com/
http://www.comictreadmill.com/
http://greenbriarpictureshows.blogspot.com/
http://www.chancefiveash.com/last_of_the_spinner_rack_junkies.htm
http://strippersguide.blogspot.com/
http://sacomics.blogspot.com/
http://ditko.blogspot.com/
http://jackkirbycomics.blogspot.com/
Remember, if you enjoy this type of thing—or Johnny West, The Great Gildersleeve, Linda Blair, underground comics, fanzines, Wally Wood, Jim Steranko, Kings Island, the Beatles, cartoons and/or commercials—feel free to drop a virtual buck or two in the donations box to your virtual right. Thanks for everyone's support. I have to go start on tomorrow's posts now.

Tweaking

Morning (or Afternoon, depending on when you drop by). I've been doing a little tweaking the past few days and I think everything is finally worked out. We already mentioned the Donations box. If you like what you see here, please feel free to leave a PayPal tip to help with expenses. Now, we've added a Search This Blog feature in association with Technorati. Be specific in what you're searching for, though as a quick search for "Cisse" found nothing despite my two Cisse Cameron/Cissy Colpitts posts but my search for "Great Gildersleeve" brought 4 hits from my site. That's two more than I would have expected! Also, there's a "Sites That Link to This Blog" which is fun for me, too! Thanks to everyone for all of the great comments and emails! Coming up along with the usual comics, TV and movie stuff we have a lot of Old Time Radio stuff as the Cincinnati Convention (and the hopeful release of my much-delayed first short story!) approaches in April. Also, a few delayed book reviews and I've found a whole new box in my archives that hasn't been opened in years! Keep reading!

Another Cissy Colpitts Pic!

It's been like an obstacle course trying to get here today!
Now here we are and I have lots of keen and groovy things of which to blog and I find myself so tired that I can't put together the brain cells necessary to do it! Thus, since the number one keyword search term used to find my blog recently has been "Cisse Cameron," whom we discussed previously at http://booksteveslibrary.blogspot.com/2005/08/cissy-colpitts-rather-pulchritudinous.html, I'm offering my third autographed picture of the former Cissy Colpitts. The talented but largely unknown co-star of BILLY JACK, PORKYS II, THE PRIZE FIGHTER and the dreadful (but cultish!) SPACE MUTINY sent me these pics when she had just finished a very promising co-starring role under the Colpitts name on THE TED KNIGHT SHOW. I wonder if she knows how popular she seems to be on the net!

CISSY COLPITTS

The rather pulchritudinous young woman to the left here went by the unlikely name of Cissy Colpitts. Her star shown briefly in the 1970's. Her best known appearance would have to be as the young potential rape victim in BILLY JACK, saved by Tom Laughlin's half-breed avenger who forces her attacker to drive his car into a lake. Other early film appearances included PORKY'S II.

I first discovered her, however, on THE TED KNIGHT SHOW, the short-lived sitcom that preceded Ted's more successful TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT. She was hilarious! She affected a very Marilyn Monoroesque (Hey, I coined a word!) delivery and it was a scream, easily stealing the show for me. Ratings were initially high and my 18 year old self decided to write her a fan letter. Then the series was cancelled. Imagine my surprise to recieve a letter from Ms. Colpitts some months later. Not JUST a letter, mind you! I wouldn't be surprised if mine had been the first fan letter she had ever received as she hand wrote a three page missive talking about life, work and the episode of THE LOVE BOAT she had just finished. Along with that was this postcard (I was 18, remember!) and two gorgeous signed publicity photos. Not long after that, she changed her name, undoubtedly at someone's intelligent suggestion, to Cisse Cameron. I heard somewhere that the new name came from her father, noted hack actor (in the sense that he would take any job that came along) Cameron Mitchell. While she did appear with Mitchell in a later film, I've never been able to confirm their father-daughter relationship. Cisse was given bigger roles in better films, appearing opposite James Coburn in THE BALTIMORE BULLET and the Tim Conway/Don Knotts team in PRIVATE EYES. Ultimately, though, she ended up in low budget thrillers like the dreadful SPACE MUTINY(1988) with her husband Reb Brown (TV's cheesy Captain America in two terrible seventies films).
Now here's the really interesting part: Welsh film director Peter Greenaway has done four movies in which four different characters are named...you guessed it...Cissy Colpitts! I hope Cisse got a smile out of that. IMDB lists her last picture as 1997. Wherever you are now, Cisse, thanks from the 18 year old boy who stayed one of your biggest fans for thirty years!