What if DC Had Created Spider-Man and Fantastic Four?

That was the question I asked myself back in 1978. What if DC had created Marvel's flagship characters? How would they look different? What would there backstories be? Well, as far as Spidey, the backstory info seems lost but here are my visuals. Note the nigh ubiquitous cape and utility belt for adjectiveless Spiderman.

For the FF, in case you can't read my post-adolescent printing:

They patrol for crime at night! They are...the Fantastic Four!

Captain Fantastic (Reed Richards)-a police chemist with stretching powers

The Torch (John Storm)-a high school senior who can shoot fire from his hands

Monster Man (Ben Grimm)-a test pilot who can change into the super-strong, orange-skinned Monster Man

Inviso Girl (Sue Storm)-Department store saleslady who can turn invisible

Booksteve's 1978 Artwork

Movies I've Always Wanted To See

In the early 1970's, I made a list of movies I'd always wanted to see. I can't find that list. I did, however, find a 1986 version of said list that features mostly obscure films. I find it fascinating to see just how many I have eventually managed to see. Here's the list. I give it one to four stars (*) if I've seen it.
1- GET TO KNOW YOUR RABBIT- Brian DePalma's controversially edited black comedy with Tom Smothers, John Astin and Orson Welles. SEEN IT! **
2-THE PHYNX-Legendarily unhip, barely released rock and roll spy comedy with an all-star cast. SEEN IT! **
3-SKIDOO-Otto Preminger's acid-influenced gangster comedy starring Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing and--in his final film--Groucho! SEEN IT!***
4-DAY OF THE LOCUST-Controversial look at old Hollywood based on the classic novel and starring Donald Sutherland. Caught a couple scenes on late night cable and lost interest.
5-HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD-B-movie exploitation with Candice Rialson and--as the ad said, "Godzilla as herself" SEEN IT! *
6-F FOR FAKE-Orson Welles in a playful mood pulls the wool over our eyes in multiple ways while dressed like the Shadow. SEEN IT! ***
7-TRAFFIC-Jacques Tati's late period French more-or-less-silent comedy. I have a source but have yet to get it.
8-JUST IMAGINE- Bizarre early 1930's sci-fi musical comedy. SEEN IT! **
9-QUADROPHENIA-The Who's concept album about mods and rockers translated to film. SEEN IT! **
10-ANOTHER NICE MESS- Rich Little as Nixon and Herb Voland as Agnew. Not a clue.
11-LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT-one of those all-"star" so-bad-it's-got-to-be-good career-ending vehicles. SEEN IT! *
12-DEEP THROAT II-the R-rated, supposedly gangster plot-oriented sequel. Seems to have vanished forever.
13-THE BED-SITTING ROOM-Richard Lester's surreal comedy with Michael Crawford, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. SEEN IT! *
14-DEAR INSPECTOR- French police story that was the basis for a US TV series, DEAR DETECTIVE. Nope.
15-FACE OF THE SCREAMING WEREWOLF-Lon Chaney Jr as a Mexican mummy and a latter-day wolfman. Got a source but by all accounts not worth the effort.
16-NIGHT OF THE GHOULS- Ed Wood's unreleased follow-up to PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.
SEEN IT! *
17-A STUDY IN TERROR- Sherlock Holmes Vs Jack the Ripper. SEEN IT! **
18-A MODERN BLUEBEARD- mid forties Buster Keaton feature from Mexico. SEEN IT! **
19-WAR ITALIAN STYLE- Much latter foreign Keaton vehicle. Haven't found it
20-GENERAL SPANKY- feature length OUR GANG comedy starring cute l'il Spanky McFarland. Keeping my eyes open.
21-HELLZAPOPPIN- Olsen and Johnson comedy. Saw ten minutes on YouTube awhile back but still not the whole silly thing.
22-THE INCREDIBLE INVASION-One of Karloff's final foursome. SEEN IT! *
23-SON OF DRACULA-Ringo Starr and Harry Nillson's boring musical. SEEN IT!**
24-THE WITCHES- Clint Eastwood in an Italian ensemble comedy from his peak years. SEEN IT! **
25-ROCK AND ROLL YOUR EYES- Never seen this ELP concert film mentioned anywhere but Ive got a drive-in ad for it!
26-ROYAL FLASH- Malcolm McDowell in a lighthearted swashbuckler film. Skipped it recently on cable.
27-VAULT OF HORROR- Jon Pertwee and Ingrid Pitt in EC adaptations. It turns up. I just keep missing it.
28-THE SILENT TREATMENT-Yet another all-star cast misfire, this time a 1968 silent comedy! Possibly unreleased.
29-CAN HEIRONYMOUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS. Just got this amazingly titled leftover earlier this week after looking for more than 30 years. I'll let you know.
Other versions of the list will no doubt turn up. I remember that one had 100 titles on it! Seeing as how I actually managed to find and secure a copy of the still virtually unseen LET'S GO FOR BROKE, I think I've proven to myself that these things are NEVER completely imposible to come by! Feel free to share YOUR lists.

UPDATE--Blog patron Lisa (apparently with very little trouble) FOUND DEEP THROAT 2!!!
Here:http://www.cinebizarre.com/db_impdetail.asp?TITLE=Deep%20Throat%202%20And%20Linda%20Lovelace%20for%20President%20%28Double%20Feature%20DVD%29

Leia on Vacation

Was digging deep in the back of my closet today when I found a treasure trove of 1970's teenage superhero art by myself (much of which I will share in weeks to come). I also, however, forund my seventies ROLLING STONE collection with this one right on top. Since its fanboy favorite cover tied in neatly to yesterday's Carrie Fisher post, thought I'd share.

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

Today is, of course, the biggest shopping day of the year...except where I work where, in fact, it may well be the slowest day of our year. That said, it afforded me the opportunity to read Carrie Fisher's autobiographical new book, WISHFUL DRINKING (Yes. The entire thing. It was that slow!). Technically, the book is not an actual autobiography but a literary translation of the one-woman show the actress/writer has been performing for a couple of years now. Still, there's enough of a linear "this happened, then this, then this" to make it seem a straight autobiography.

I'd seen a couple of reviews where they talk about Carrie whining once again about her childhood. Yes, she is. It's an ongoing thing with someone who's trying to come out a better person in spite of her life rather than because of it. What those reviewers seem to have missed is just how funny Ms. Fisher is here. Whether dissing Papa Eddie's libido, detailing Mama Debbie Reynolds' eccentricities or sharing which STAR WARS actor had the best dope, she is sarcastic, caustic and dryly hilarious. Even though the backdrop of the entire piece is her mental issues and subsequent electroshock therapy, there's rarely a completely serious page here. Even her issues with LSD lead to a hilarious anecdote about becoming telephone friends with Cary Grant! There are some carefully chosen pictures throughout (including one with Liz and Dick doing to Eddie what Liz and Eddie had done to Debbie!)

Is it a happy book? No. A generation or two loves Carrie Fisher in ways that she is still struggling to understand. It is, however, a surprisingly fun book as she lets us take a revealing peek beneath the surface at that very struggle. And what we see there is that there's still hope.

Famous Artists Test

All of these posts about Millie and her modeling these past few days reminded me about the time I sent for the Famous Artists School test. You know. This was the one advertised on the back of comics for years by Norman Rockwell and Albert Dorne, two "real" magazine illustrators. By the early seventies, I guess those two iconic artists were seeming a little fogeyish so this new, allegedly hipper ad appeared. This is the one to which I responded...age 12.

They sent you a nifty book with sections on a whole bunch of different art topics, one of which, as I recall (this being one of the few things I seem not have kept) was written and illustrated by L'IL ABNER's Al Capp, at the time one of my favorite cartoonists. (Hey, I was 12. I didn't get the political stuff. His pictures just looked funny, okay?)

The test booklet itself was actually rather thin. You had to define words and match concepts and trace copy things BUT...my favorite part was the naked lady. They presented you with a fully detailed illustration of a naked woman and you, as the aspiring artist, had to design clothes for her. As stated, I was 12. What the heck did I know about designing clothes? Especially women's clothes? I did, however, have a fairly extensive collection of Marvel's MILLIE spinoff, CHILI. So, I sat down and meticulously copied one of Chili's stylish outfits (probably drawn by Stan Goldberg) onto the naked lady.

I sent in the test and they wrote back saying I showed talent...but to come back when I was 18. Sigh. I coulda been a contendah! (or at least a famous fashion designer as long as Marvel was publishing these comics!)

Millie the Marvel Part Two

In answer to several emails and comments, here's Johnny Romita's Beatlesque cover (why Gwen Stacy's dancing on it is anyone's guess)and the front-facing first page of the Millie the Marvel story we referenced a couple of days ago. Be sure to check out the Millie fan site at http://milliethemodel.blogspot.com/

Random Panels of Comic Book Weirdness # 43

I know we just did one of these but this one with Captain America and Bucky from the mid to late 1940's just made me laugh out loud for some reason so...here's another. And Wertham thought Bruce and Dick were perhaps a little too close! These guys bicker like the proverbial old married couple!

Thanksgiving Again

Seems like a lot of my problems started last year on Thanksgiving morning as I was driving in to work and now here we are again. Still, I find myself with much to be thankful for these past twelve months, not the least of which is my little slice of the blogosphere here.

Through this blog, we were able to get our dog healthy again, find movies I've always wanted to see and comics I've always wanted to read, keep hope alive when things looked really bad, help make real progress in a real murder investigation and make enjoyable new friends (including the ubiquitous Lisa who designed the lovely pic adorning this post! Thanks much!).

Things are never static and there are still problems and issues but overall, in spite of a most challenging year, I wanted to say thanks to ALL of you who drop by here on a semi-regular basis (and yes, even those of you just looking for Linda Blair naked, too!). Looking back over this past year's posts, I'm pretty proud. A good bit of interesting stuff for pop-oriented people! I hope you liked it 'cause there's more ahead!

Steranko History Ad-1970

One of the definitive Captain America artists, it's fitting Steranko's version was chosen to advertise volume one of his seminal HISTORY OF THE COMICS. By the time this ad appeared, I had already found a copy at Kidd's Bookstore in downtown Cincinnati and devoured its information--all-new in those pre-'Net days--many times! With all the scholarship on comics history in the last couple of decades, I'm still not sure this book has been surpassed as a one-stop for the most important historical info on the subject. And then, of course, volume two continued that trend a couple years later!

Random Panels of Comic Book Weirdness # 42

Here, from a 1967 MILLIE THE MODEL story, is Millie the Marvel vs. her arch-enemy, Miss Chill (as drawn by HERBIE's pop, Ogden Whitney with, if I'm correct, Jack Abel). Dig that crazy Gary Friedrich dialogue! The end of the story threatens a return appearance if fans clamor for it. Did they? That same issue of MODELING WITH MILLIE also features a story by--of all people--Mr. Relevance himself, Denny O'Neil!

Color Photos of Your Favorite Stars!- Early Sixties

In case you young folks are wondering why the emphasis on color in this early sixties ad, keep in mind that much of the entertainment world was still black and white at that time. Thus color was a major selling point. Being the geek that I am, I am naturally familiar with nearly all of these "stars." What interests me most, in fact (other than the fact that Annette still had to go without a last name and yet Fabian gets one!),is the number of folks I'm not familiar with at all. So I looked 'em up.

Alan Case- Case had been the title character in 1959's THE DEPUTY (opposite Henry Fonda's Marshal) and later co-starred as brother Frank on 1965's LEGEND OF JESSE JAMES.

Barry Coe-a fairly prolific character actor of the period who would later be known in commercials as TV's "Mr. Goodwrench."

Pat Conway-Lots of westerns including the sheriff in the long-running TOMBSTONE TERRITORY through 1960.

Robert Crawford, Jr- again, westerns, this time with a regular role on LARAMIE in 59-61

Richard Davalos-starred in THE AMERICANS, a TV series I'm not familiar with at all. Still working apparently, he's listed on IMDB as appearing this year in the marvelously titled NINJA CHEERLEADERS!

Richard Eyer-a prolific child actor on fifties TV

Lori Martin-star of the TV version of NATIONAL VELVET and the daughter in the classic CAPE FEAR, she worked steadily through the sixties.

Donald May-starred in THE ROARING 20's (one of my mother's favorite shows!) and later on soaps.

Cynthia Pepper-had the title role in the fairly forgotten early sixties sitcom, MARGIE

Jack Scott-Probably this guy--JACQUES Scott, fairly active in TV in the early sixties

Vicki Trickett-Hmmm...didn't do much but worked with the Three Stooges and Ozzie and Harriet!

And that's it. Believe it or not, I actually have heard of all the others and can cite at least one major credit without having to look it up! How about you?

30 Rock on Sale

If, like myself, you're one of the many who never noticed the TV series 30 ROCK until after recent events made Tina Fey a perhaps unexpected hottie, here's your chance to make up for it! After a particularly trying day at work, I had to stop by WalMart for some milk and noticed that they had the first season of 30 ROCK on sale for only $14.96! With all 21 episodes on 3 discs, that works out to less than 72 cents per episode!

Been watching recent episodes on HULU.com but now I can catch up. Tina writes, produces and stars in this smart comedy along with a brilliant ensemble cast that includes fellow SNL alumnus Tracy Morgan, ALLY MCBEAL's Jane Krakowski and Alec (THE SHADOW!)Baldwin who slyly steals almost every scene he's in! The whole thing is presented in a combination of traditional sitcom style, sketch comedy and, at times, a surreal send-up of the hands that feed them. If you haven't watched it, I suggest starting. If you've been enjoying it all along, I envy you. Go to WalMart and pick up the set so you can watch it all again!

"Skinny Girls Don't Have OOMPH!"

It's entirely possible that the whole obesity problem in America today can be traced to ads like this one from the mid-fifties. OOMPH, indeed!

Murder, He Says

I first saw this George Marshall-directed 1945 movie on TV back in the early 1980's and have never been able to get its gimmick "song" out of my head. It was to the point that I had taught it to my son (along with other important things such as "swordfish," "42," and "Who's on 1st."). Today, for the first time, I showed him the movie...and he didn't like it. Too dark. Too long. Just not funny.

To be fair, it is, as its title suggests, a black comedy. According to IMDB, it was originally tailored for Bob Hope and it certainly plays like a Hope vehicle of the period. Fred MacMurray stars as a Trotter pollster ("We're like the Gallup poll...only slower.") who goes up into the hills looking for his missing predecessor. There he finds the Fleagle family--a family similar to the one we meet in the much later TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! Marjorie Main is a wicked delight as a homicidal Ma Kettle and big, burly Tom Richmond is fun in a suberbly done dual role as her Jethro-like twin sons. Jean Heather is the less-than-present, ethereal daughter who constantly sings the song--"Honors flisis, incomb beesis, onches knobis, inobb kesis." Along with Main's new husband played by Porter Hall, they're all searching for 70,000 dollars stolen by distant relative Bonnie Fleagle. Helen Walker (a sad and fascinating story herself. Look her up.) stumbles into the plot pretending to be tough escaped convict Bonnie Fleagle while Barbara Pepper (much later on GREEN ACRES as Mrs. Ziffel) later arrives as the even tougher, real Bonnie Fleagle. There's twists, turns, hidden passageways, dead bodies, and even a spooky organ. In fact, it has everything a good Bob Hope movie should have. There's even a plot reference to Bob Hope! MacMurray fulfills his assigned role nicely, however, showing early on here the flair for flustered comedy that would serve him well years later at Disney. He even does well in the few romantic moments. The fun here, though, is clearly the downright unrepentently evil Fleagles and our heroes' efforts to thwart and/or escape them. All of it ties up neatly (a little too neatly perhaps) at the end and you're left wondering what Fred's career might have been like if he had continued in this more light-hearted vein at the time instead of waiting another fifteen years or so.

Lana

Longtime readers may recall my special, TWILIGHT ZONEISH connection to legendary movie star Lana Turner (detailed here: http://booksteveslibrary.blogspot.com/search?q=lana+turner+changed+my+life+and+never+even+knew). Well, for years I tried to reach the now late actress to tell her that story but it was never to be. Last week, however, after another several years of trying, I DID finally succeed in reaching her daughter! I received a very nice email from Cheryl Crane saying it was "a lovely story" and that her mother would have enjoyed it. That very day (what a coincidence) I picked up a copy of Ms. Crane's new coffee table book on her mom, LANA-THE MEMORIES, THE MYTHS, THE MOVIES. As this type of book goes, this one is more substantial than most. As the title says, it literally covers the spectacular ups and downs of the actress's personal life as well as an individual look at each of her films--good and bad. Along with this, we are treated to a most humanizing narration from Cheryl and a simply amazing selection of photos from beginning to end! To top it all off, this fifty dollar style book is only 35 bucks retail and can be found in various places on the Net for under 20 dollars! About the only thing missing from this book for even a casual fan is my story...and you guys have a link to that above. Go. Spend money on this one!

The Two-Gun Kid

Marvel's TWO-GUN KID has been retconned so many times he's like a one-man LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES. Like JONAH HEX at DC, he's even had a long stretch out of his own time (notably in SHE-HULK of all places!). I never really read him consistently as a youth but I generally preferred his Kirby and/or Ayers art to that of Jack Keller on KID COLT, OUTLAW or Larry Lieber on THE RAWHIDE KID. (Later I discovered Doug Wildey on THE OUTLAW KID but that's another story.) Came across this early sixties story the other day, from a seventies reprint, which brought to light a whole new aspect of our gunslinging hero. He sings! That's right, the Two-Gun Kid is a singing cowboy! Maybe he could get together with Colt an' ol' Rawhide an' they could form a trio. It'd be like RIDERS IN THE SKY! Or maybe they DID become the Riders! Nah! None of them are blonde. Seriously, though, was this an anomaly or did he sing a lot back when that was fashionable? Any western fans here?

The Brave and the Bold

Just watched the first episode of the new Cartoon Network series BATMAN-THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD and I must say that, while I enjoyed it, I was rather confused. Mainly, because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how, in the wake of THE DARK KNIGHT, this thing ever got greenlighted! To be fair, lead time being what it is, this has probably been in the works for quite some time. Still, this is not your father's Batman...or rather, it IS your father's Batman! The Caped Crusader of this series is a popular super hero to citizens and is known for his teamups with other super-doers (in the tradition of the long-gone original BRAVE AND THE BOLD comic). Kids have pinups of him on their wall (including the one seen here--with obscured Robin--which I myself once had on my wall!), he seems equally at home with campy super-villians like the Clock King or in outer space. In short, this is the early sixties Batman! He wisecracks, he mentors, he smiles (!), he's prepared for every unlikely thing and yet, at least for this die-hard silver age fan, it all worked!
The first episode is a simple, tight script in which the new Blue Beetle, who has obviously already encountered Bats, teams with him to stop a meteor from hitting what appears to be the JLA satellite. This plot then disappears as the pair ends up on the other side of the galaxy fighting old JLA foe, Kanjar Ro (looking more like a skinny, off-model Darkseid here until he actually becomes the Blue Beetle himself!) with an army of Proty-like aliens. After the inevitable victory, they return to their original mission and we end on a freeze frame. Seeing them actually do it isn't even important. We just KNOW they will! How was never the point!
Don't ask how this series fits in with the great Bruce Timm BATMAN cartoon or even the lesser THE BATMAN animated run. They MAY try to shoehorn it into the continuity of the recent JLA cartoons but I doubt it would be a good fit. It doesn't matter, though. BATMAN-THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD is fun, pure and simple--nothing too deep, lots of action, a simple moral and the good guys winning and KNOWING they will! There is even an absolutely marvelous opening title sequence! The art is better than in THE BATMAN but fairly simplified. The writing is, at least in this episode, clever and genuinely funny. With Plastic Man, Aquaman, and Red Tornado all announced in advance for this series, it'll be interesting to see how it all progresses.

Movies That Fell Through the Cracks # 44

I actually paid to see RAFFERTY AND THE GOLD DUST TWINS three times at the Skywalk Cinema in downtown Cincinnati back in '75. It was so good I named it the BEST movie I saw all that year! What's that? You never heard of it? Yeah...a lot of that going around. Seems the film opened to good reviews, had only a fair initial run at the box office and ended up sold to TV as RAFFERTY AND THE HIGHWAY HUSTLERS...then just went away.
Alan Arkin stars during a peak period in his career. Sally Kellerman, still coasting on 1970's bravura performance in M*A*S*H co-stars as do Mackenzie Phillips and Charles Martin Smith, both fresh out of AMERICAN GRAFFITI. All of them give standout performances in this dramedy about a lonely driving instructor abducted by a woman and a girl travelling cross-country to make the woman a country singing star. This film was also the first place I ever noticed the great character actors, Alex Rocco and Harry Dean Stanton! Heck, even the great Louie Prima appears!!
I had previously seen Mackenzie Phillips in a similar role on TV in a HALLMARK HALL OF FAME special entitled MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP opposite Martin Balsam. (Oddly her character there was named "Robin Willimas.") In the closest thing she ever had to a starring role on the big screen (before moving on to TV and tabloids), Mackenzie shines here as the surly "Frisbee."
Arkin is always a joy to watch as an actor but his character here is depressed and laconic, easily bested by the stronger female roles.
This type of movie, if it turns up at all these days, is usually a TV movie--too serious to be a comedy and yet too comical to be taken seriously. With some great individual set pieces and a satisfying ending, though, in 1975 I thought this was the best of the best. If you get a chance, I think you might like it!

Abbott and Costello Ad-1954

They shilled for Camel cigarettes for years over the airwaves and I recall seeing Lou do a live camera commercial with Steve Allen late in life but did Abbott and Costello really do that many endorsements? Here we have a 1954 comic strip style ad for popsicles featuring Bud and Lou just a few years away from their big break-up.

Clayton Moore and the Lone Ranger's 75th

Happy 75th anniversary year to the Masked Man of the plains, the Lone Ranger! In all of that time, the cowboy hero (often accompanied by friend Tonto) has appeared on radio, in serials, in movies, in books, in comics, in cartoons, in commercials and on lunch boxes. Its biggest success, arguably, was its early television incarnation as played by actor Clayton Moore. As with Hopalong Cassidy before him, Moore largely took on the code of the masked man and continued to appear throughout his life as the Lone Ranger, long after the TV series had ridden off into the sunset. Then, in 1979, the Wrather Corporation (which ahd purchased the rights to the character) gave him cease and desist orders. Seems they were bringing the character back to the big screen and wouldn't want the dumb movie-going public to confuse some dottering old man with the hot young star they were going to create.

Bad move. First, Moore fought the ban. Then as more legal action loomed, he went to a modified costume and a pair of mask-like sunglasses (which eventually got him endorsements). Controverisal Chicago TV critic Gary Deeb took up Moore's cause and fans began rallying to their hero's side.

The Wrather corporation featured former actress Bonita Granville (Wrather) as one of their big-wigs and some writers portrayed the affair as Nancy Drew vs. the Lone Ranger! The corporation stuck by its guns and went forward with their movie while Moore continued making appearances as the ALMOST Lone Ranger. Talk of a boycott of the movie began circulating.

I signed the petition. I signed the boycott sheet, too. To this day I have NOT seen THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER. By all accounts, one of the worst films of its day as well as a major flop, the boycott seems to have done some good. And certainly, no one would end up mistaking the classy Moore for the film's bizarrely named Klinton Spilsbury. Spilsbury made headlines with drunken off-set antics and on-set diva-like behavior. His voice was overdubbed by actor James Keach, allegedly due to its being too slurred to understand. It was to be his only film appearance. Actor Michael Horse, Tonto in the picture, managed to pull a successful acting career out of the debacle but even old-time radio announcer Fred Foy saw his cameo as a town mayor hit the cutting room floor. Horse said in a 2003 interview, "When I heard they were so disrespectful to Clayton Moore, I thought, ‘oh, no, you guys shouldn’t have done that.'”

Tired of all the negative publicity, the Wrather Corporation eventually caved and Moore went back to being the Lone Ranger, eventually writing a book whose title answered the oft-asked question of, "Who was that masked man?" He died at age 85 but is well-remembered throughout the Web.

Charles Atlas WTF

Every comic book fan who ever read a comic published between the thirties and the seventies (eighties?) has seen these Charles Atlas ads but I don't recall ever having seen this one in which the world's most perfectly developed man proudly shows off "little Chuck." On a silver platter, yet!

Twice Upon a Time

Spiked a fever and ended up staying home from work after all so, for anyone still paying attention, here's yet another cool movie ad from back in the day. George Lucas produced the animated feature TWICE UPON A TIME back in 1983 but due to various behind-the-scenes wrangling and studio problems, it was barely released in theaters. Most who saw it did so on cable TV and in one of two different edits! The absolute only thing I remember about it (other than this Pythonesque ad) is the "Figmen of the Imagination!"

Airplane Ad

Here's an unusual ad for the comedy classic AIRPLANE. Just thinking that since I have to go back to work today in spite of my dental adventures yesterday and in spite of the fact that there really isn't a lot of business (hardly any flights!) on Wednesdays, maybe this would keep me busy, too.

Oddball Archie Alien

Here, from Scott Shaw!'s ODDBALL COMICS site (http://www.oddballcomics.com/article.php?story=2008-11-10) is a cover that would sum up my day yesterday! Today, I had three teeth pulled!!! Thanks to bloggy buddy Lisa for the shout out earlier today.

Own Your Own Flag-1942

Here, from an early issue of SUB-MARINER, is an ad for ordering your own flag! Undoubtedly this was a very patriotic thing to do in those early days of World War II but I still think the text of the ad tries a mite hard.

Bob Hope's Supershow

Okay, we all know my goofy memory. I recently ran into a guy I hadn't seen since 1982 and I was able to remind him we last met at a McDonalds on a Thursday afternoon in August, he bought and I had two hamburgers, fries and a small coke. Couldn't recall what he had, though. Freaked him out.

How does that tie in with Bob Hope? Glad you asked. I like Hope. He was a consummate entertainer right to the end. I enjoyed his films, his TV specials and he did a considerable amount of good for a considerable amount of people. From what I've read, I doubt I would have cared for him in real life but that's another story.


Anyway, here in Cincinnati they had (still have?) the Bob Hope House, similar to the now well known Ronald McDonald House. Every year, Bob would come through town and hold a celebrity golf tournament to raise money for the Hope House. In the mid-seventies, someone got the idea to have Bob put on a big stage show, talking his famous friends into coming into town for free to help raise more money.


In 1976, the Bob Hope Supershow was all the rage. This was when I got to meet Bob at a local booksigning (written about previously. Type BOB HOPE in the blog search bar). The guests included Pearl Bailey, Wayne Newton, Roy Clark and Lynn Anderson (all of whom were bigger names than they now sound!). Ben Vereen, perhaps ticked off about his name being misspelled in the ad, was a no-show. It was a long, fun evening with Newton showing why he was the King of Las Vegas entertainers.


In my memory, there was another show the following year. The problem is...apparently there was one the year after that, also and the two are running together! After the first one, Hope had stated he would try to hook Crosby for the following year. Unfortunately, Der Bingle teed off the Earth that following summer. His fellow Xmas special crooner, Perry Como substituted as headliner. Blonde sprite Joey Heatherton (pre-cocaine), then known for her sexy TV mattress ads, stole the show in my then 18 year old opinion. Singer Teresa Brewer (known mainly at the time for an oldies TV album commercial) was that year's no-show. Gordon McRae was surprisingly dull and Jane Russell really seemed ill at ease in front of a live audience. Mark Hamill was just trotted out briefly (STAR WARS had just opened in May of 77) like the flavor of the month.


I can't find the ad for the 78 Supershow but I DO have the souvenir booklet (which talks only about the Bob Hope House) and I recall Glenn Campbell playing bagpipes and marching through the audience at Cincy's Riverfront Coliseum. I also recall silent movie star Buddy Rogers playing multiple instruments and leaping around like a teenager. I even recall that country star Freddy Fender was that year's no-show! Can't recall who else was there, however. Joey again, maybe?

As you might expect, this unusual memory lapse is driving me crazy. Anybody else out there go to these shows? What are your memories of them?

CORRECTION_ I found another ad for the 77 show. THAT was the year with Buddy Rogers and THAT was the year of Fender's cancellation. Dorothy Lamour's too! And Charo's!

The Ballad of the Green Berets

For Veteran's Day, before heading off with Snoopy to quaff a few root beers with Bill Mauldin's ghost, thought I'd show you the very first "grown-up" record I ever owned (at age 7). Here we have one of 1966's biggest chart hits, THE BALLAD OF THE GREEN BERETS by SSgt Barry Sadler. Sadler was a stoic figure. He was put forth as the best this country's military had to offer. He hit all the TV variety shows in full uniform and never seemed to crack a smile. In reality a wounded veteran himself, he recorded a whole album of Vietnam-related songs that didn't go anywhere near the success of the single.

The song itself is reasonably catchy albeit extremely right-wing sounding today. Sadler's bland delivery of it does not hold up at all, however. When it came out, the anti-war sentiment was just building. I was seven. All I knew was it was a good and patriotic thing to support your country and its military. Eventually, I came to understand that that was true but not to do so blindly!

For his part, Sadler failed at a follow-up and then failed again as an actor. He seemed to find a niche when he created CASCA, the popular series of violent pulp novels about an "eternal warrior" who fights in every war throughout history. The series seeemed to go on forever. Again, though, in reality, Sadler had only written the first few before the publisher began hacking them out under his name.

He ended up in South America, allegedly running guns to the Contras. There was some talk of drugs, also. He was found shot in a cab in a still-mysterious incident and ended up in a coma for nearly a year before passing.

Still, no one can ever take away 1966, where, for one brief moment, between Beatles songs, the country's patriotism swelled to the strains of THE BALLAD OF THE GREEN BERETS.

Morganna Press Info-1980

A favorite search topic here at the Library is Morganna, Baseball's legendary "Kissing Bandit." In September of 2006, I wrote about my personal encounter with her in 1981 if anyone's interested. Offered today is a rather sedate publicity picture from her then-upcoming tour and an actual December, 1980 press release as rescued by me from the trash bin at the local newspaper where I worked at the time. I've taken the liberty of taking out the address and phone numbers because, for all I know, they're still valid. Long since retired, she does still live in Columbus, Ohio.

James Batman

I once worked with a delightful young lady named Rosie who was of Filipino descent and tried her best to teach me some of the Tagalog language. I wish I'd been paying more attention because then maybe I could understand what the hell is going on in JAMES BATMAN, an unauthorized 1966 spoof of Bond and the Caped Crusader! Here are a few murky but interesting screen shots, however. I THINK the guy in the awful suit and hat is supposed to be 007. Note, also, the "Penguin" character. Oddly, the actor playing "Batman" seems to have been best known for spoofing Bond himself in a series of "Agent 123" movies.

Random Panels of Comic Book Weirdness # 41

This unexpected panel is from the just published issue of WALT DISNEY'S COMICS AND STORIES! Ol' Walt should be rolling over in his cryogenic chamber about now.

Don Scardino IS...Homer!

Ever wonder whatever happened to an actor you might see in a movie from twenty, thirty, sixty years ago? Me, too! Back in the mid-1970's I picked up a copy of the soundtrack album seen here (this is not my copy as mine won't fit on the scanner). I got it for small change at a cut-out bin at Otto's Drugstore (which is now the eye doctor where bookdave and Rene go). As soundtracks go, it was really cool! And I mean REALLY cool! Led Zeppellin from their first album! The Lovin' Spoonful! The Byrds! Eric Clapton with Cream!Early Steve Miller Band! Buffalo Springfield (long disbanded even then)! and Don Scardino! Err...who? Well, actually, Don Scardino, a young and reasonably obscure character actor, somehow scored the lead role in 1970's HOMER. With the rest of the cast and creators equally obscure, this particular coming of age film kind of disappeared. Only the music survived. I know what happened to Jimmy Page and friends as well as to Roger McGuinn, Stephen Stills, Neil Young, etc. Steve Miller never really went away and John Sebastian's Spoonful went into the Rock Hall of Fame a few years back. Every time I looked at that soundtrack album, however, I found myself wondering whatever became of Don Scardino.

Cut to last evening when I noticed the ever-delightful HULU site was running current episodes of 30 ROCK, a series I'd always wanted to see...particularly since the country (and I) realized Tina Fey was hot! Not only did I absolutely LOVE 30 ROCK (after sitting through multiple episodes) but the producer/director was listed as one...Don Scardino!!! A quick check of IMDB and I find it was him! He had long since become a director and helmed multiple episodes of HOPE & FAITH as well as various other hit and not-so-hit series in recent years! Congratulations on your success, Mr. Scardino. Looks like sometimes, there ARE happy endings in Hollywood. Think I'll go play that soundtrack again, now. Hmm... Hearts and Flowers? Wonder whatever became of them?

Golden Age Torch/Namor Ad

This exciting early forties Timely ad speaks for itself!

Review-Zack and Miri Make a Porno

I'm going with a friend to see Kevin Smith speak/lecture/perform here in the area later this month so we felt practically obligated to go see his newest movie, ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. Yesterday, we did. In the interest of full disclosure I should note that, the Internet being what it is, Mr. Smith and I have some mutual friends but I have neither met nor spoken with him before.
That said, the film had been garnering some very good reviews for this type of movie--even here in the Censornatti area (which advertises it simply as ZACK AND MIRI) so I expected a good turnout. We arrived for what turned out to be a private screening at 4:30 PM. It wasn't meant to be a private screening but, less than a week after its opening, no one else showed up! Bad for the movie but good for us. We took the high ground in the stadium seats, kicked off our shoes and put our feet up on the chairs in front of us. My friend felt perfectly comfortable in laughing and talking as loudly as she wanted about the film and we remained undisturbed throughout the picture.
It is a good picture. At its center its a good old-fashioned, "Hey kids! Let's put on a show and save the old homestead!" picture, wrapped up in a deceptive coating of raunch. Much of the picture's success is owed to the actors in the title roles as well as to Smith. I had never seen either Seth Rogen or Elizabeth Banks before but they both came across as old friends (both to each other and to the viewer) from their first scene. Their relationship throughout the film sparkles with a classic chemistry and a perhaps unexpected sweetness. Rogen's comic timing seems effortless and he never misses a beat with Smith's traditionally explicit, realistic dialogue. For her part, Ms. Banks matches him every step of the way and throws in an added depth that the part probably didn't even need!
The picture's plot is given away in its title. These two long-time platonic friends decide to make their own no-budget porn film to keep a roof over their heads and hilarity ensues. Toward that end, they cobble together a quite motley crew of lovable losers to help them. The supporting cast includes Smith regulars Jason Mewes (seen recently at Mid-Ohio Con) and Jeff Anderson, both playing very different characters than usual. Also appearing are former porn legend Traci Lords and current porn performer, Katie Morgan. The former, who has long since proven her acting abilities, looks pretty bad in this but offers a fun performance. Ms. Morgan was the revelation. Cast as a dumb blonde actress, her comic timing is unexpectedly fun to watch. Since acting is normally not a requirement for her day job, she is all the more impressive and one wishes she had more schtick to do. Her naked bits (they ARE making a porno after all, remember?) are nowhere near as interesting as her comic bits. Her real life sounds interesting, too-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katie_Morgan. Justin Long and Brandon (SUPERMAN RETURNS) Routh are so hilarious as a gay couple, also, that they are brought back in the middle of the closing credits! For no apparent reason, Zombie makeup artist Tom Savini appears in cameo.
ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO is a dirty, dirty picture. In spite of all of the dirty trappings, however, what comes through the most at the end of this subversive love story is heart. Kevin Smith continues to be a most inventive and creative filmmaker and I can't wait to see what he does next.
Oh, and did I mention there's snow scenes? I'm on record as saying that any movie with good snow scenes is automatically a good movie!

The Texas Wheelers-1974

Jack Elam was a working actor. He worked a hell of a lot, appearing in nearly every western (or so it seemed) made during his career (just as Ward Bond had done earlier). He also did great comedy, serious drama and even a little variety. THE TEXAS WHEELERS, his 1974 sitcom, was just another brief stop in his long and varied career. Five years after if failed, he'd try again with an even less interesting premise in LIGHTNING STRIKES. He played a humorous Frankenstein monster.

Still, what if THE TEXAS WHEELERS, which featured him as a crusty old patriarch of a good ol' down home family, had been a hit. The series co-star (and ostensible romantic poster boy) was Gary Busey. Busey could (and may be!) known as Abusey, based on everything to which he subjected his body in the years since. Most recently, he's been diagnosed with brain damage due to a long ago motorcycle mishap. What if the series had taken off? Maybe he never would have gotten his breakthrough role as Buddy Holly because he was still contracted to the series! Maybe no substance abuse issues though either. Possibly he might have even worn a helmet!

His younger brother on the series was played by Mark Hamill, still a teen but already a veteran actor. Hewent from here to playing opposite Linda Blair in SARAH T.-PORTRAIT OF AN ALCOHOLIC. He was then cast as the older son on EIGHT AS ENOUGH (and immediately replaced by Grant Goodeve). Would his career have thrived after a hit sitcom or would he have been typecast? Would George Lucas have looked at him a few years later and thought "Hmmm...can't cast him as Luke Skywalker. Everyone will recognize him from THE TEXAS WHEELERS.

Things might have been very different if this show had been a hit. Of course, you can do this kind of speculation with many failed shows. Feel free to offer your own.

The Films of Michael Crichton

Everyone's familiar with the novels of the now-late Michael Crichton but how many remember his movies? No, I don't mean the big-budget spectaculars like JURASSIC PARK or RISING SUN that were adapted from his bestselling books. I'm referring to his promising but ultimately abandoned career as an auteur film director in the 1970's and '80's. As a director, Crichton was a stylish filmmaker who, perhaps surprisingly, chose to adapt few of his own books. He did, however, write screenplays--most original--himself for nearly all of his pictures.
Below, a brief look at the films of Michael Crichton as director.
Pursuit (1972) After the theatrical success of THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN, the author managed somehow to get the coveted chance to direct this Movie of the Week TV adaptation of his early pseudonymous novel BINARY (by "John Lange") about a terrorist with stolen nerve gas attempting to assassinate the president at a political convention. A stellar cast of character actors starred including Ben Gazzara, William Windom, Joseph (DR. NO!) Wiseman and a young Martin Sheen.
Westworld (1973) This is the one that put him on the map. With its memorable ad campaigns ("Westworld...where nothing can POSSIBLY go wrong...go wrong...go wrong...go wro..." and the bizarre concept of bald Yul Brynner reprising his MAGNIFICENT SEVEN gunslinger as a robot (!), WESTWORLD was a huge hit in its day. The plot is actually similar to that of JURASSIC PARK. Here you have an amusement park in which real folks can interact with period-correct realistic robots in one of several historical settings. Our two amiable heroes are played by Richard Benjamin (then enjoying a successful big-screen career) and James Brolin (father of Josh) just starting out in films after success as a TV doctor. They enjoy their excursion into a virtual Old West until people start getting hurt ...and killed... for real. There's action, humor and genuine suspense, very little of which were successfully duplicated in the Crichton-less sequels and subsequent TV series. Coming soon is a remake.
Coma (1978) Adapted from Robin Cook's early medical thriller, this was an excellent choice for Crichton as Cook has spent many years since trying to BE Crichton it seems! A doctor himself, Crichton excels here at heightening the suspense as a young female doctor (Genievieve Bujold who was later originally cast as Captain Janeway on STAR TREK VOYAGER) pieces together a mystery involving many patients ending up in mysterious comas and shipped to a mysterious institute. Ironically, Michael Douglas co-stars. "Michael Douglas" was also one of the author's several early pen names..
The First Great Train Robbery (1979) When I saw this it was just called THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY. I LOVE a good train movie and this is one of the best. Sean Connery, so far removed from Bond as to seem a different person, stars opposite then-popular Donald Sutherland, one of the quirkiest and best film actors of the period (and, of course, father of Kiefer). Inspired by but not literally adapted from an actual gold robbery in Victorian Britain, this is a caper film in the OCEAN'S 11 vein with our anti-heroes aided and abetted by Lesly-Anne Down, easily one of the sexiest actresses of her day!
Looker (1981) Here we have Crichton predicting the future. LOOKER deals with a new technology that enables one to make films or still photos of models/actors whose every move has been programmed into a computer...without needing the participation of the real people! Imagine not having to cater to the whims of those pesky divas just to get a movie made or an ad campaign shot. The problem is, of course, that the real folks take offense...so they have to be disposed of! Another A-list cast features Albert Finney, James Coburn and TV Partridge Susan Dey, here nearing the end of her not bad try at feature film stardom. Today, of course, we have Fred Astaire dancing with vacuum cleaners on commercials and Bruce Lee hawking soft drinks (I think) on Far East TV. Crichton was right.
Runaway (1984) Six years earlier, Tom Selleck had a small role in COMA. Here, on the strength of TV's MAGNUM PI, the likable, rugged actor headlines yet another techno-thriller, this one about a near-future in which robots are everywhere in society. KISS's Gene Simmons is suitably menacing as the nasty villain.
Physical Evidence (1989) Five years later, Crichton chose this unlikely project to be his final film as a director. Using someone else's screenplay this time, this is a hard, violent crime drama casting Burt Reynolds against type and featuring Theresa Russell and Ned Beatty ( as well as David Cassidy's ex-wife, Kay Lenz!). Not having seen it, I can't tell you much else on this one. After it, though, Crichton metaphorically hung up his director's cap (although IMDB credits him with uncredited reshoots on THE 13TH WARRIOR) and was content to let others adapt his work. He served as producer on several projects including--in a return to his medical roots--TV's long-running medical series, ER.
RIP Michael Crichton

Rare Early Harvey Kurtzman

Keeping in mind that "rare" is not a synonym for "good," here are a few little-seen comic panels by MAD founder Harvey Kurtzman for your pre-voting (or post-voting depending on when you see this) pleasure. I'm on record as thinking Harvey was one of the seminal influences on 20th century humor in general and mine in particular but, hey...everybody has to start somewhere. These GIGGLES 'N GRINS were found practically hiding in the ad pages of 1948's SUB-MARINER # 25.

The Election

Tommorrow is Election Day. If ever there was an appropriate time to talk politics, this would seem to be it. So why have all of the candidates been acting like this is professional wrestling with good guys and bad guys? Let's get real, people. John McCain is a good man who thinks he can lead this country out of tough times. Barack Obama is ALSO a good man who feels that he can do the same. I tend to think the latter has a better chance but that doesn't mean I hate the former. Nor does it mean I hate you if you support McCain. Neither one of them is the Anti-Christ. Neither one is a Muslim, either. Or a Communist. If Obama wins, I guarantee you it is not his intention to "go after our guns and our religion" as a truck driver told me earlier today. Neither will his policies set out to destroy small business or penalize the wealthy.
Joe Biden is also a good man and a good choice for the vice-presidency. He does have a tendency to shoot his mouth off from time to time but isn't that better than Dick Cheney shooting someone else's face off? Would you really want a VP that was a sycophantic yes man? I'd rather have one with a mind of his own.
Which brings us to Sarah Palin. Seriously, I know she's popular but if you think about it, it's for all the wrong reasons. She was a bad choice, pure and simple, probably forced on McCain in a gamble to pick up the alienated Hillary Clinton vote. Whoever chose her apparently missed that it wasn't just the fact that Hillary was female that we liked--it was the fact that she was a strong, intelligent woman with good ideas. Joe Lieberman, whom my wife met during the 2000 elections, would have been a better and more logical choice. As it is, the McCain and Palin "team" has become the cartoon ticket. The only ones laughing with them and not AT them are those who are buying into their rhetoric.
That's what it is, too. Rhetoric. Both sides boast and posture while spinning every little detail so as to make it look negative for the other candidate, resulting in outrageous and untrue claims that may yet turn out to be harmful. It's all an act, a game. Aren't conditions in this country and the world a little to serious for us to be playing games in this election?
I'd love to have us win the Iraq War. Someone tell me how. We've already killed the evil dictator and strengthened their country's economy. What's our goal? How do we know when we've won and what we have to do to get to that point? I really want to know. While we flounder around with undefined goals in Iraq, Americans are being killed every day serving their country but for what? And then, of course, there's Osama Bin Laden. Are we even doing anything to catch him anymore? If so, what?
Barack Obama is a charismatic man who makes a great speech and has brought hope to many of us at a time when we thought it perhaps lost forever. He talks of strengthening our health, our education and our patriotism. He also talks about us giving BACK to our country in ways that many of us have long since left in the past. He speaks of us coming together in this new century and helping our country survive and thrive again.
John McCain talks of change, also, but his ideas of change look backward and yet this year, more than any other, it would seem the time is right to look only forward. No matter which one of them wins, he will be tested. That's just the way the world is these days. Hopefully, he will be able to accomplish something and not have to spend the next four years being dogged by campaign lies. Vote tomorrow. I really don't care who you choose but vote! Don't base your choice on the attacks and ridiculous claims of the campaign, though. Use your brain! Vote your heart, your mind and your conscience. Whether or not we like the idea, change is coming...and ALL change has the potential for good. We just have to work with it.

Links

It's been quite awhile since I posted some new links. Here's a list of a bunch of relatively recently discovered places that I make a point of stopping by every single day lately here in the virtual world. If you like my stuff here at all, there's a very good chance you'll enjoy some of these folks also!

http://lisa-mynx.blogspot.com/

http://doclehman.wordpress.com/

http://tsutpen.blogspot.com/

http://waffyjon.blogspot.com/

http://comicsincrisis.blogspot.com/

http://grantbridgestreet.blogspot.com/

http://matttauber.blogspot.com/

http://my-retrospace.blogspot.com/

http://jimattulgeywood.blogspot.com/

http://popculturewonders.blogspot.com/

http://fortressofortitude.wordpress.com/

http://pappysgoldenage.blogspot.com/

http://dccomicsfortress.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-09-11T14%3A45%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=10

http://letsrapwithcap.blogspot.com/

http://www.cinebeats.com/

http://www.gallifreyone.com/news.php

http://www.potamediaarchive.com/

http://saturdaymorn.blogspot.com/

The Two Faces of Superman # 175

The practice of multiple alternate comic book covers is standard (albeit evil imho) these days but back in the olden days if they had more than one for whatever reason, the editor would be forced to choose! Here's a rare DC example from the early 1960's. The one on the left is the released version of SUPERMAN # 175 and the one on the right is an earlier, discarded version of same as printed in a contemporary 80 PAGE GIANT.

Movies That Fell Through the Cracks # 43

Both Roy Rogers and Gene Autry were called the King of the Cowboys but for my money the title always went to Roy. A recent biography of Gene portrayed him as a womanizing alcoholic in real life. By contrast, Roy was very openly conservative, Christian and, like William Boyd and Clayton Moore also, embraced the straight, good guy values his "Roy Rogers" character had established onscreen for decades.

Long after his film career had ended and his TV series had ridden off into the sunset (and Trigger had been legendarily stuffed!), Roy Rogers resurfaced unexpectedly on the big screen in 1975 in the surprisingly adult western, MACKINTOSH AND TJ. Directed by TV veteran Marvin Chomsky (who also helmed one of my guilty pleasures, EVEL KNEIVEL), it's a coming of age story with Roy giving a rare and quite impressive performance rather than playing "himself."

The impressive cast of seventies supporting players includes Joan Hackett, Billy Greenbush and James Hampton (with whom I once had a nice phone conversation!) while the boy who comes of age is played by young Clay O'Brien, a favorite of John Wayne and already a veteran western star himself. O'Brien would eventually give up acting and become a real cowboy! Underrated actor Andrew Robinson also appears. Robinson could be amazingly over the top as he was as the vicious serial killer in DIRTY HARRY and turn right around and offer a portrayal as subtle as the Cardassian Garek on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.

Music was by outlaw country singer, Waylon Jennings, a man who was known to idolize Gene Autry and whom one would think the real-life Rogers would avoid for his rather public excesses.

Overall, an interesting if somewhat slow picture made nonetheless endlessly fascinating by the presence of Roy. As someone on IMDB points out, it makes you wish Rogers had opted for more of these late in life acting gigs instead of just appearing from time to time with Pat Robertson and singing gospel with Dale Evans.